Snevets shockingly not implicated in collegiate bribe scandal

Last week, controversy struck the nation as dozens of rich parents were implicated in a scandal in which it was revealed that they bribed college sports teams and admissions offices into unfairly admitting their children. People nationwide were stunned that the most powerful of us used their wealth to bend the rules of the system to their will. Many colleges have been implicated in the scandal, but Snevets has been conspicuously absent, given its penchant for criminality. Luckily, The Stupe managed to secure an interview with one of the parents involved in the bribery scandal. When asked about Snevets, the parent said, “THAT school? Do you really think I would allow my child to go there? So much construction all the time, and I mean, have you heard about their leased housing? It’s a disaster! I would never pay a large bribe for my child to be unfairly recruited to a D3 team.” Unfortunately, our interview was brought to an abrupt close, as the parent ran out of quarters for the prison pay phone, and the call ended. At the time of publishing, The Stupe was unable to verify any of these claims.