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Eric Londres, Snevets' resident problem starter, was the sole reason that you lost your priority registration. Now, he's laughing at you because he, along with the entire student body, can flex his priority registration status as you're frantically shuffling your schedule around on sitscheduler.com. Photo taken by a photographer.

Priority registration extended to everyone except you

Snevets administration announced on Tuesday that, in the interest of pursuing total equality for as many students as they possibly can, they shall be extending priority registration to the vast majority of the undergraduate student body. In fact, every single student will be registering on the first day of scheduling week, with the notable exception of you.

While the administration offered a nearly limitless list of reasons that students will have priority, somehow none of them apply to you. It’s now completely unclear whether you will be able to register for all your classes, as you will be signing up days after around 5,000 other students have done so.

To make matters worse, the registrar has misplaced your Application for Candidacy. You should definitely be getting an email about this soon and of course there’s no chance this will affect your graduation. They promise.

To make matters worse, the registrar has misplaced your Application for Candidacy. You should definitely be getting an email about this “soon” and of course there’s no chance this will affect your graduation. They promise.

Additionally, the Snevets administration has announced changes to the academic break system. The former Academic Break Period, from 3pm to 5pm on Wednesdays during which no classes may be held, is being abolished. It is being replaced with the Academic Acceleration Period, an hour-long block starting at 7pm on Friday during which students will be required to take two classes at once to more rapidly advance their learning. The registrar believes that this will solve the issue of rooms being double-booked, as students will no longer view double-booking in such a negative light.

The registrar is out of the office today and should be returning on Wednesday, after students who have priority have completed their scheduling. Students should address all questions and concerns to the registrar.

You did not immediately respond to The Stupe’s request for comment.

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