“Isn’t that a man’s job?”

Growing up, I always felt supported by family. I always felt encouraged that I could be whatever I want to be and do anything. So you can imagine my surprise at my family’s reaction to my chosen career path.

I remember my grandpa going, “Isn’t that a man’s job?” My mom told me that she thought I was too nice to deal with the male-dominated field. My dad seemed to support me in the beginning. Being in the construction field, he knew it was a stable and good field. Yet, I realized that he thought I would be able to get by because women weren’t held to the same standard as men. And it wasn’t until recently that I found out that he partially meant all those, “Just find a husband to take care of you,” jokes.

Looking at it, I could not explain why my childhood self and my adult self were told such different things by my family. Was it that they didn’t want to deter a child from having big dreams? All those comments made me feel small, insignificant, and powerless. And if I was younger when my family told me all of these things, I probably would have chosen a different career path. After all, my family knew me better than anyone, so they must be right, right?

When my sister was about three years old, I remember her saying, “Only boys can be superheroes.” This stunned me. She was never told this specifically, at least not that I noticed. So how did this little toddler already have such societal limits placed upon her? Was it her noticing that boys got the Superman dolls and girls got Barbies? Or maybe she subconsciously picked up on conversations about stereotypical gender roles?

I don’t have the answer to this, at least not yet. But I do know how I changed it. I immediately told my sister that girls could be superheroes too. Then we proceeded to play Supergirl and the Superdog. For her, the biggest appeal was pretending to be a dog and wearing a cape. Initially, she didn’t want to play a female superhero, but at least she was now willing to pretend to be any kind of superhero, human or not. Now she has no problems pretending to be whomever she wants.

Usually, when we play dolls, she likes for the princess to be in danger and for the prince to rescue her. She got really mad at me one time when I tried to have the princess rescue herself or be rescued by her animal friends. I would ask her, “Why does the prince always have to rescue the princess?” or “Why is the princess always in danger?” She would respond with something along the lines of, “That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

After some attempts to let her see that it’s not the only scenario, I can report that I haven’t been that successful. But at least her villains are girls sometimes. I hope that all my attempts will help my sister realize that she can do whatever she wants, but for now I’ll settle for sometimes, the prince rescuing the princess and sometimes her doing the rescuing, as a superdog.

We are lucky enough to live in a society where women have rights, where women are important contributors to society. But we haven’t had these things for too long, and it’s still not perfect. So let’s make sure that we are inspiring both men and women to be anybody they want to be, that we don’t give the next generation any boundaries.

As the great Maya Angelou said, “Phenomenal woman, that’s me.” Let’s make every single little girl believe that she is phenomenal and that she can do anything.