What they won’t tell you during orientation

Before you toss this newspaper into the trash, hear me out. You’re about to enter Stevens, and if you’re like me, you already reviewed various guides and YouTube videos on what to expect during your first year of college.

Well, whatever ‘tips’ you learned, forget all that nonsense. Those tips don’t work here, because Stevens isn’t like most schools. We’re a nerd college, with a nerdy culture and quirks. We have bookworms and people who enjoy solving math problems when stressed.

So, I’m gonna give you 20 Stevens-specific tips that the college guides won’t tell you. Are you taking notes?

1. If you meet someone cute during orientation, use a condom. You can buy them at the vending machines in your dorms or around campus.
2. Get close with your RA. They might have your back if you’re ever stupid.
3. Most tests at Stevens are nearly identical year to year. Ask an upperclassman if they have copies of previous tests for you to study.
4. If you’re not from New Jersey (like me), be prepared to endure hours of trivial debate on Taylor Ham vs. Pork Roll and on whether Central Jersey exists.
5. You’re forced to pay thousands of dollars for a meal plan, so enjoy Pierce while you have it. The food is better than people claim.
6. Most frat parties are on Fridays. Finish your homework early or on the weekend so that you can have a good time.
7. Anyone can access the rooms in Babbio at night. Gather your friends, microwave some popcorn, plug your computer into one of the projectors or TVs, and have a movie night.
8. Get registered to vote in Hoboken. You’re about to live here for four to five years. This is your home now.
9. Beware: everyone knows everyone. So if you do anything, someone will know.
10. Expect nothing from administrators. You might send an email and receive a response weeks later, if at all. Be persistent if you want something.
11. Find friends in your major and work on homework.
12. Take CAL seriously. (Somehow, every professor in CAL is super interesting. Listen to them; you’ll learn life lessons outside the purview of the curriculum.)
13. If you want a social life at all, join Greek life, club sports, or an active club on campus. Otherwise, it might be tough to make new friends.
14. Read The Stute. We wouldn’t be the longest operating organization on campus if we weren’t interesting.
15. ResLife sucks sometimes; just get used to it.
16. Talk with Pearl. She makes everyone happy.
17. Don’t play video games in your room all day. You pay more than $50,000 to be here. Go to New York, explore campus, join a club, sign up for Tinder — do something other than sit in your room.
18. Contact the SGA if you ever have any problems regarding anything. Some student leaders are very well connected on campus. They’re eager to help, so take advantage of that.
19. Update your social media. Other first-year students and upperclassmen (including me) are Facebook stalking you.
20. Stevens is perhaps the most stressful college on the East Coast. Many students here suffer from depression or anxiety because of this. Feel free to skip a class, take a nap, and talk with someone if you become unbearably stressed. You’ll be better in the long run, trust me.

If you want more tips, have questions about Stevens or The Stute — or, especially, if you have questions on what it’s like to be LGBTQ at Stevens — please reach out to me. My email is mcunnin2@stevens.edu.

Welcome to Stevens!