None of the freshmen living in Humps were surprised when, last Sunday, an electrical fire threatened to wipe them off the map. A group of freshmen, nonchalantly watching the firetrucks arrive, showed their immense powers of foresight by questioning the regularity of safety inspections and alternating between comments such as “Honestly, I kind of expected this from the administration,” and “Man, this administration.”
The school, for its part, expressed shock at the malfunction. “We figured with a couple hundred engineers regularly using the space, things like this wouldn’t just slip by. I mean, hell, Giantfore probably walked right by that thing when he was here!” an incredulous spokesperson responded. The school contends that its course offerings have prepared the students for situations like this. “The smells, the sounds, all the warning signs, we teach them everything they need to know. Frankly, I’m disappointed that it got to this point,” said an electrical engineering professor.
“This demystifies a lot, actually,” remarked ResLife pointing to the student negligence behind a recent slew of water pipe and heater malfunctions. One employee added, “These kids aren’t paying 60k for nothing. I’m just hoping they start taking some responsibility.”
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