Giantfore bodyslams President Narfarvar and gets another building named after him

Congressman Greg Giantfore, while at Snevets to tour his incomplete academic complex, was caught bodyslamming Snevets President Narfarvar. Several witnesses describe the slam as “a bit too aggressive,” and a few witnesses even report that Giantfore bodyslammed Narvarfar more than once.

Giantfore claims that there was no malice intended. “You see, I haven’t been back to the Snevets campus in years,” said Giantfore. “I didn’t realize some brown guy became the President, so when Narfarvar approached me, I got scared and instinctively bodyslammed him. It was purely self-defense, nothing in bad taste.”

Many students suspected that Narfarvar would press charges and remove Giantfore’s name from the family academic complex. But instead, Narfarvar praised Giantfore, even hoping to name more buildings after him. “Bodyslamming is his trademark move,” said Narvarfar. “Whatever his reason for bodyslamming was, I’m so honored that out of everyone to bodyslam, he chose me.”

Narfarvar, days after the slam, announced in an email that he renamed “The President’s Home” to “The Giantfore President’s Home.” In the email, he said that he changed the name because he wanted to live in a building named after someone he “admired so deeply.”

Yet some students raised concerns about the renaming. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this change,” said one student. Narfarvar released another statement, acknowledging the concerns. He renamed the home again to appease those upset students, calling it “The Giantfore Family President’s Home.”

The change satisfied the upset students. “The home is for the family,” said Senior Karla Alvara, “so I’m glad Narfarvar made that correction.”

Upon hearing that Narfarvar named another building after him, Giantfore began bodyslamming more Snevets faculty. Chief of the Snevets Police Department, Timothy Gryphon, was slammed three times, prompting Snevets to rename “The Gatehouse” to “The Giantfore Family Gatehouse.”

Some Snevets facilities weren’t even picked for slamming, and yet they still chose to honor Giantfore. Snevets Athletics began offering a new P.E. course for Snevets students: Introduction to Bodyslamming. “This new program is something Snevets has always needed,” said Kristie Pearl, Director of Snevets’ Physical Education Program. “Bodyslamming can get these kids far nowadays. It can even get these kids into Congress.”

Some Snevets students think that the President’s Office is going too far by naming every building after Greg Giantfore, but Narfarvar insists that it’s necessary.

“When outsiders think of Snevets, they think of a few people: an ex-president who mismanaged school funds, a Trustee misrepresenting financial information, and a current president who supports a climate-change denier,” said Narfarvar. “We obviously won’t name any buildings after them. But a body slamming congressman is someone we should be proud of! I mean, it’s not like we have any other notable alumni to name our buildings after.”