It’s called a job hunt for a reason

Let me begin with the wise words of The Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you want.”

Even old man Sigmund Freud—you know, the penis-envy and Oedipal complex guy—hinted at this universal truth. The id, explained to me as the bubbling cauldron of our wants and needs, has kept in check by the superseding ego, operating on what is dubbed the “reality principle.” In other words… you can’t always get what you want.

No fact has been more glaringly clear than this one, especially as I approach graduation, impending student loan debt, and life beyond college. Acquiring a job is not a mere wish-upon-a-star—no people, I need a job. I need a job really f*cking badly.

I applied to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Public Health Associates Program—PHAP for short—this past January, and it was everything I could have wanted in a position: the possibility to work anywhere in the country, a rich learning environment in the field of public health, and at a high-profile government agency. I sent in my application the first day it was released, and harassed the Registrar to make sure my enrollment verification form was faxed to the correct number. While I knew it was a very competitive program, I thought I hit all of the requirements. Good grades, a keen interest in public health, experience in qualitative research methods, openness to relocation, good references, no criminal background (to my knowledge)—check, check, and check.

After three months of anxious waiting, talking up the position to peers, family, and mentors, I was saddened to see “sorry, you were not among the best-qualified candidates and have not been referred for consideration” when I looked on the USA Jobs portal. My initial thought: Sh*t! My second thought: What do I tell everyone?

Here at Stevens, we’re all about return-on-investment, finalizing outcomes prior to graduation, and average starting salary. These are important numbers to know, and I am even more proud to go to a school that helps students achieve success at stellar rates. But to be frank, sometimes I feel like I am feeding off the success of the school as I boast these numbers to prospective students on my tours. 73% of our graduates from 2016 had finalized outcomes prior to graduation! I’ll announce to a group of excited high-school students and their families, But don’t be fooled! I’m not one of them.

I know I am speaking prematurely—this is the first of many rejections I’ll inevitably see in my lifetime and it’s only March 23; however, I would be lying to you if I said it didn’t hurt. Ever walk clumsily into a table and stub your toe so badly that all other thoughts in your consciousness are suspended as you grapple to the floor, cursing whomever placed the table in that specific location? That is essentially how I felt. The acute pain slowly subsided into a pulsing, but ever-so-present throb that continues to persist no matter how hard I try to forget about it. Even if I wanted to suppress my disappointment, I can’t, because I have a big mouth and told everyone about this position. I had to relive the rejection as I told my parents, my siblings, my close friends, my advisor, my mentors… the list goes on. Even worse, when we’re labeled as unfit for a position or “not among the best-qualified candidates” as the government so loquaciously informed me, it’s embarrassing to say it aloud. Eyebrows are raised, the tension builds, and you might feel even more judged than by the company that just rejected you in the first place!

But I think there is consolation in all of this. As my sister’s boyfriend Zach simply put it, “They call it a ‘job hunt’ for a reason.” While there may be a general course of action to improve one’s chances of employment, I have been reminded that there are factors beyond our control. Even if all the boxes are checked, victory might not be ours for the day. However, the success will come when we learn how to convert the disappointment associated with defeat into fuel for the next application, job interview, or promotion opportunity.

To my fellow seniors who feel like they are in a similar situation to me, we must not forget that this school has given us the methods of mass production. Lean on your faculty advisors, consult with recently-graduated friends who have found their niche, and do not, I repeat, do not go gentle into that job fight.