Mentee to you, but much more to me

This past Monday, our campus was graced with the presence of Dr. Connie Mariano, a woman of many firsts. Not only was she the first military woman to become the White House physician to the President, but she was the first woman director of the White House Medical Unit, and the first Filipino-American in U.S. history to become a Navy rear admiral.

It was a privilege to hear her talk about her journey, just as much as it was an honor to sit with her in a more intimate setting earlier in the day at the Lore-El Center for a pre-lecture lunch. She has earned her prominence in the medical, political, and social arenas, and serves as an inspiring figure for women and women minorities who continue to work diligently for leadership positions in all disciplines.

Not all of us will achieve positions of such prestige as Dr. Mariano—there are far too many people in the world for a limited number of high-power positions. I have my role models and female crushes to whom I’ve looked for motivation, especially in my formative years. They include Rosalind Franklin, Susan B. Anthony, and Marie Curie. These women continue to live on, immortalized in our textbooks and Women’s History Month celebrations.

These women have been the North Star for me, guiding me in moments of self-doubt. But like stars—millions of light years of away—they remain physically unreachable representations of the past providing illumination in dark moments. So while I praise Rosalind, Susan, and Marie for their steadfastness, intelligence, and commitment to science, I sing a softer, more practical song of praise to the women with whom I converse with on a regular basis. But as I sat in Burchard 118 listening to Dr. Mariano talk of her mentors, I realized that the mentor-mentee relationship, like all relationships, should serve as a two-way street. My whispers of praise should crescendo into audible words of respect.

A powerful woman on Stevens’ campus has thrown countless opportunities to me over the past two years. Unbeknownst to her, I fear her deeply, not because of her temperament—she is sincere and has this great way of swearing so tastefully—but for her commitment to her position. She offered much-needed advice while I served as Chair of the Honor Board, treated me as an equal in her office, and continues to serve as an advocate for me and my peers.

Doesn’t this all seem one-sided to you? This female figure in my life has done so much for me, and sometimes my simple thank yous or brief emails of appreciation seem inadequate when juxtaposed with her actions that have always benefitted me in the end.

As students, perhaps we are too intimidated to pay our respects to our more experienced advocates… am I allowed to offer my judgment, even if it is positive and sincere? I think it is time that this idea of mentorship be redefined as a relationship, one that needs to be nurtured and maintained by both parties. While age, rank, or background might serve as impermeable boundaries for some things, gratitude is one quality that remains potent enough to strength any bond.

To all of the strong, diligent women on Stevens’ campus who have shifted my course or paved a new road (shout out to all my Civil engineering friends), I thank you for who you are and the example by which you lead. To that one woman who has helped me and so many others while keeping Student Life alive and vibrant (with a beautiful singing voice, might I add), you’ve made me a proud Stevens woman.

While the women of the past have lit the way from afar, you serve as a corporal GPS, suggesting alternate routes and a different perspective as I navigate unchartered ground.