As the third week of classes comes to an end, I can’t help but wonder if I could have done it any better. Orientation feels long ago, yet recent at the same time. I feel somewhat settled in all of my classes, but still feel a tad uneasy knowing I haven’t had any major assignments yet. I’ve attended several events on campus, but skipped some as well because how I allocate my time here is really important.
Those nights in Hayden, meals at Pierce, impromptu bubble tea runs, and excursions to the city. I keep thinking, ‘should I have stayed longer?’ but also, ‘was the sleep I sacrificed worth it?’ These kind of thoughts plague everyone’s mind. No one wants to regret the choices that they make. No one wants to waste their time, or pursue a mistake — but no one knows their future, and no one can predict a failed path before it happens. These people whom I’m with at 2 AM, will they be my friends for life or just this week? Will they take care of me if I fall over? How can I be sure that my judgement was right, those times I stayed an hour more or left an hour early?
I keep falling to my comfort zone, my high school friends. We have a GroupMe in which we share pictures and college concerns. We had always had a skype chat, so we simply migrated platforms. We share what we’re doing, random daily events like, ‘Today I saw a cute dog’ or ‘I dislocated my knee’ with pictures attached. Now that we’ve separated to pursue different things, it’s easier to ask for advice too. We’re no longer obligated to be friends, help each other out, but we still are. That makes me feel more closer to them than ever before, and not being able to see them reminds me that we’re all trying our best for each other.
My old friendships are really strong, so strong that I’ve been questioning making new friends. It’s hard. To find good friends you have to share your insecurities and opinions, your real thoughts, and find people that accept you and your opinions. Obviously, you must be willing to do the same for them. If it’s any different, the friendship does not have potential to be honest. You have to bet that they like you more than they judge you, and hope they think of you when they pick up Dunkin’. All strong friendships start with this investment, whether we can remember or not. My best friend and I are only friends today because she took a risk on the first day of sixth grade to asked me, “Hey, you’re Indian; wanna be friends?” I still make fun of her for it.
The message I want to share with everyone this week is that it’s okay to make yourself vulnerable. It’s always okay to walk up to strangers and introduce yourself. The right people won’t think you’re weird, and will respond positively. It’s never too late to join an organization. The Stute, and I’m sure many other clubs, welcome people who want to learn from them. Don’t forget those that shaped you up to now, but actively look for people who you want as new influences. In this weird time in which we are forming our identities, take that risk. Join a random stranger at Pierce instead of going to lunch around other people’s schedules. Worst thing that happens, they run away. Or if it’s really bad, maybe you run away. Best thing that happens, you have a new friend.
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