Whether it’s the pursuit of romance or fiscal stability, the knee-jerk promotion of one person or job to the status of “the one” is the most troublesome and difficult instinctual reaction to rewrite, especially because it can be so consuming and debilitating. These practices have always existed, and many are often able to suppress them.
However, in my senior year I am realizing that, with the imminence of employment becoming more critical, I cannot be beholden to one particular job that I have mentally framed as a “the one.” This is applicable to all facets of life at Stevens and beyond, especially in careers, love, and campus involvement.
Something I often to say to our staff writers and photographers here at The Stute is that the order of priority for them goes: themselves first, academics second, and The Stute last. This may seem contradictory, especially if one’s leadership philosophy is centered solely (and selfishly) around the exclusive betterment of their organization without regards to its members.
Instead, this priority list accounts for the fact that Stevens students are involved in so much that they need to be reminded to look out for themselves first, or at least more often. Students should never let a job, club position, or potential partner kill their motivation or immobilize them, whether the obligation has created toxic conditions, or the student has drummed up a mental block in their heads.
For example, I am in the process for applying for a full-time position. About a week ago, I saw this as the only opportunity I would have at post-Stevens stability — “the one.” Having gone through a process of refining my resume and redrafting cover letters for this position, I’ve come out not only more confident and ready that I can land the position but also optimistic that getting hired elsewhere is not a leap of faith; it is a very real and attainable goal.
In fact, rewind four years and I might have told you that I let “the one” get away, and that I would never find a significant other again. None of this is true, and we all know that. but often we let ourselves feel helpless and desolate because there appears to be no more options in the immediate future. In fact, I know many students that did not have their cross-hairs on Stevens when they graduated high school and thought having to settle here was irrecoverable. Now, for some of those students, it is hard for them to imagine themselves anywhere else.
I cannot confidently say that everything happens for a reason, but thus far I have realized that “the end” is like “the one”: an irrational and misleading concoction that we have devised in our heads. It may be easy to get comfortable with an ideal outcome for a job or dating search, creating a false security that prevents any progress, but that comforting image isn’t based in reality.
Apply for other jobs, talk to more people, and join more clubs, but do not let a great opportunity take hold as the only one. If you feel an obligation to take part in an organization, but realize it has destructive consequences for your body or psyche, then assess what you are doing for that organization and what it is doing for you.
Obligation and loyalty in campus involvement often overlap, but the key difference between the two is that the former doesn’t care for your well being and the other should. Do not shirk on your responsibilities but ensure that when you undertake them you are not doing so because you feel you have to. Perhaps your time in that organization is up, when the passion is gone, and if you stay put without moving ahead, then you’re only hurting the organization and yourself.
