In the hubbub of classwork, part-time work, thesis preparation, club meetings, eating, and occasionally sometimes sleeping, valuing family and friends is one of many things that gets neglected. A message asking how you feel from a parent or a guardian seems routine, and a weekend of hanging out with your friends seems like the norm. Of course, when something goes down — when something bad happens — what matters most becomes painfully apparent in the most literal sense, in that it hurts to see that you’ve been missing the obvious for so long. “Augh, how have I not done this before?” Let me use a personal example to illustrate.
A friend of mine went through a tough time recently involving a significant other. You can fill in the deliberate blanks, but the result of this tough time brought us, both personally and as a group, closer together. Tangibly, a drafted but unpublished letter was written by yours truly, resting in my Google Drive, never delivered. While I hit on several points about this difficult time in that letter, there was one line that stood out that I wrote, even to me:
“You’re probably wondering at this point why I’m writing this. It’s actually super simple. This is a friend doing something that friends don’t do nearly enough: tell each other how awesome they are, and how thankful they are for having met the other person.”
The sentiment is simple enough, but it elicited a more complicated reaction from me: Why does the cycle repeat? By cycle, I am referring to the one where we all love each other, life gets busy, and then we repeat the first step onward when tragedy strikes. I understand that there is a mutually implied understanding of love among loved ones, even when no words are said or gestures are made. If I don’t text my mom, I know she knows I still love her, and vice versa. I also understand that films and shows, inspirational stories, and pithy sayings reiterate what has become cliché repeatedly: live today like there’s no tomorrow, say it now before it’s too late, etc. Heck, if you go to The Stute’s website and sift through anything I’ve written, you’ll probably find upwards of four or even five pieces echoing the exact themes of this piece.
In a way, maybe I’m subconsciously reiterating these ideas for myself. As a senior who’s shipping off to the so-called “real world,” there is a heightened sense of urgency for me to get this blatantly vital concept drilled into my head. I’m running out of time to see my friends on a whim, and if all goes well with the job and subsequent apartment search, my family, too. The successes I may have will bring new challenges. Duh. However, they will also test areas of my life that either haven’t been tested in years or at all.
Reminding someone what they mean to you seems like an easy no-brainer, but is actually difficult to do. Other than overcoming the obstacle of remembering it, taking the time to deliver that underrated reminder can allow for unnecessary overthinking that may prohibit the reminder altogether. Will this make things awkward? How will they respond? Everything’s fine; is there really a point to doing this now? I get those concerns wholeheartedly because they mirror my own daily thought processes. But with a new semester that may be your last, take heed of this piece’s ideas, not because I am a wise sage (gosh, no), but because in the blink of an eye, this can all vanish into darkness, or whatever lies beyond our states of consciousness. Even if this isn’t your last, at least start thinking about expressing your gratitude for those in your life to them. As someone I follow on Twitter’s profile says, “Saying something nice costs nothing.” To that, I’ll add, “But losing that chance to say anything can bring a lifetime of regret.”
