I am a self-proclaimed girly girl. I love shopping and makeup, I read up on fashion and runway trends like it’s my second job (why isn’t it, honestly?), and I am always way more comfortable in a skirt and heels than in jeans and sneakers.
I’ve been relatively low-maintenance for the last few months because: 1) engineering work trumps pretty much everything else, and 2) I also really like to sleep. However, the few times that I’ve been able to doll up as much as I’d like, I’ve received some… well, interesting reactions. Most of them are very positive and harmless, mind you. But every now and then, I do get a few cocked eyebrows, a sort of “what are you so dressed up for?”, even an occasional “are you dressed up for a boy…?” (because no, of course, I couldn’t want to dress up just for myself, right?). And from whom do I get these comments? Other girls, usually.
I’m very secure in who I am, and my duality as both a girly girl and a feminist. But for argument’s sake, it’s an interesting question to consider: can someone be a girly girl and still be a feminist?
I personally, enjoy those “girly” pastimes because they are what give me confidence and I genuinely enjoy indulging in them. But some hardcore sects of feminism would argue that my girlishness undermines feminism’s pursuit—that makeup or pretty clothes are either designed for the male gaze or are merely a pathetic and destructive perpetuation of gender archetypes. I understand where this viewpoint comes from, and it’s certainly not without its merits. Arguably, as a girly girl, I am pandering to society’s views of what a girl should behave and dress like—many of which can be harmful and destructive to women’s collective self esteem.
Saying that women cannot occupy traditionally feminine qualities is just as oppressive as forcing them to. The whole fight for gender equality is not about eliminating those choices—rather, it’s merely about expanding the pool of possibilities of what it means to be a woman. Women who refuse to conform to the cookie cutter female image offered to us by Western civilization should not suffer for doing so. But at the same time, those who embrace the status quo of femininity shouldn’t be punished, either. Liking pink, drinking Starbucks, or reading Vogue magazine doesn’t make you dumb or ditzy, and it doesn’t make you a bad feminist—provided you aren’t looking down on anyone else either. You should never be made to feel inferior because of your looks, gender, sexuality or race—and yes, this goes for men, too!
Feminism, above all, is a movement to achieve economic, political, social and cultural equality, and its ultimate goal is that all men and women are free to express who they are at all times. So whether you’re a girly girl, a tomboy, or somewhere in between, nothing makes you any less a feminist than anyone else. As long as you’re for equal rights for all—you’re more than welcome on board.
