I hope by now you all realize that I am horribly disgruntled with this school. From the administration to Physical Plant, I promise you I can complain and whine about everything in this school—and, thankfully, I am finally on my way out! But, with the little time I have allotted, I promise that I’ll raise a little hell before I go.
Today though, I tackle something particularly irksome—no, not the—Registrar the restrooms. In particular, urinal design. Sorry, ladies of Stevens. I know I won’t get your empathy on this one.
Once upon a time, the great Matt Neuteboom wrote a wonderful piece on bathrooms, but he did not focus on the urinals, just the toilets. Personally, I find them equally as vital, from a guy’s perspective, at least. Good urinal etiquette involves a certain respect for another man’s privacy. Unfortunately, Stevens couldn’t hire intelligent architects or interior designers to think this crucial element through. Here are a few of the worst urinal setups in bathrooms on campus.
Kidde, second floor: I know what the designers were thinking on this one: efficiency. But, would a little more elbow room really have cost so much? With shallow urinals and such a close space between each unit, if two people used these facilities next to one another, they may as well be brushing arms. Thankfully, the sheer amount of urinals in this restroom is enormous, possibly the most in one place in all of campus; so at least you’ve got that working for you. But seriously, would two extra inches have been too much to ask for?
Howe Center by the mail room: Really, the spacing isn’t so bad in here. You can stretch out a little, and these urinals actually have some walls, which makes them pretty good, considering how many units on campus don’t. The big problem, in my opinion, is how the urinals are laid out in the bathroom. When cleaning staff come by they often prop the doors open and then forget to remove the block, which leaves the room open (and honestly, more ventilated). But, this particular bathroom is set up in such a way that, if you are using the wrong stall, everyone can see you as you use the facilities. Now, some guys might be cool with this, as your back will be towards everyone else. But, I can imagine a number of people could see this as a little disturbing. Not to mention that if you are using the unit opposite the one everyone can see, you are literally able to wave to people walking to the Student Service Center while you relieve yourself. What the hell guys? This bathroom is bizarre.
EAS, second floor: This one really takes the cake. Even if you don’t use the urinal, the poor spacing between the urinal and the sink just gives itself to awkward confrontations—something that should never happen in a men’s bathroom. Look at it, I mean, were the interior designers even trying? Please, add a damn wall! Oh wait, if you look really closely, you can see the bolt holes where a wall used to divide the urinal and the sink. I guess Stevens considers it too expensive to maintain? Pah!
I deliberately avoid using this restroom because of how many awkward moments get generated here. If you try washing your hands, and someone really needs to use the restroom, you are actually standing in front of them while they relieve themselves. Whatever you do, don’t use the mirror—you might see more than you bargained for. Or, even better, don’t even use this restroom! It is the worst design I’ve ever seen!
So, maybe this doesn’t really agitate everyone like it does me, that the bathrooms aren’t laid-out in a sensible manner in some cases. But really, with the amount of money the students pour into this school, you’d think that certain facilities would be well thought out and comfortable. Many of the restrooms on campus are not, and these three urinals in particular are pretty bad. C’mon, Stevens, step up your game. We pay a lot to have a top-notch school, so don’t screw it up with crummy bathrooms.
CC: The bold is what I added. The crossed-out is what I deleted.
FG: I executed Chris’ changes (good job; there was surprisingly a lot missing).
JM: minimal changes.
