By the time this will be read, the Class of 2015 will either be in their seats, minutes away from graduating, or official alumni of Stevens Institute of Technology, hanging out on the campus lawns at GradFest 2015. I’m not graduating, but this time always brings me to pause for a moment and reflect about life, and those I’ve loved.
There’s a song by Eric Church called “Those I’ve Loved.” In it, Church looks back on his life and recalls people he’s lost, loved, and loves. At the end of the song, Church sings, “I wouldn’t be who I am today, if not for those I’ve loved along the way.”
If I’m in anything short of a good mood, this song causes me to reflect, and can even bring a tear or several to my eyes. It’s a song that always gets me to take a mental step back and view my life from a wide angle. It’s a reminder that life does end, and that the people in our lives—our friends, family, lovers—are not only all that we have, but also shape who we are today and who we will be tomorrow.
Over my now-three years at Stevens, I’ve had people enter my life and leave, and I’ve entered people’s lives and left, too. From those I thought would be lifelong friends to the ones I had hoped would be with me for life, I’ve experienced a lot of acceptance and rejection, friendship and betrayal, and love and loss; everyone has. When taking stock of of my life, I realize that not everyone’s around for the ride, and that there will be far more people who come in and out of my life than those who stay. That’s why times like graduation, while the most exciting in life, are the hardest.
It is at this point that the seniors will have to say goodbye to those they love. For some, this means only until next weekend or after summer. For others, this means months, years, or forever. These goodbyes are difficult because there is overwhelming uncertainty about the future. When we leave each other after class or dinner at Pierce, we are certain that we will see each other the next day, whether that is true or not. At graduation, everyone’s lives are diverging at a single point. Some of these paths will cross, some will run parallel, never touching another.
No one knows what future this new beginning holds, which is why it is difficult to bid farewell to those we love. However, that difficulty is a marker of a great bond, because if a goodbye of these proportions is not heart-wrenching, then the person it is being said to is not someone you can’t live without. People who are worth keeping are the most difficult to let go. That is why this time, while full of excitement, joy, and pride, can be filled with sadness and longing.
I would not just be out of place, but out of line to give advice to you seniors. I still have a ways to go before reaching where you are, and a wealth of experience to gain still. I will say this though: remember that in the sorrow of a departure from someone you love, there is a relationship that has mutually made you both who you are today. Cherish those relationships, those people, and stay in touch. Life’s tough, sure. While that’s a gross understatement, if there are people who you love, you’ll make the effort to maintain contact, and only let them go when you have to.
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