Everyone gets warned about Senioritis. There are survival tips on WikiHow. There are informative Youtube videos. Look to the right side of this page – yes, even a whole column in The Stute named after the dreadful disease. There are just so many warnings encouraging students to get vaccinated before the epidemic hits. However, nobody talks about the dangers of another serious and highly contagious first-year plague. It’s not the “Freshmen Flu.” I’m talking about Freshmanitis.
My name is Lisa Mengotto, and I have Freshmanitis. I have suffered in silence for far too long, and it’s time I come clean. For about nine months, I’ve tried to keep my condition a secret from my friends and family. But admitting you have a problem is always the first step to recovery.
What is Freshmanitis?
Freshmanitis is justifying poor decisions because you’re a Freshman. It’s like “YOLO,” but instead you say, “I’m a freshman – I didn’t know better.” In actuality, the student usually understands exactly what he or she is about to do wrong. However, in the spirit of being young, makes mistakes anyway. Eventually, one adapts to motto “If I’m going to make mistakes, now is the time to make mistakes – when I still have enough time to fix them.”
What are the symptoms?
Poor decisions include the following: staying up late and not doing your schoolwork, decreased attendance to lectures, increased visits to the dining hall, lack of motivation to build up a resume, procrastination of study plan, heightened complaints about group projects, and daytime naps.
How do I know if I have Freshmanitis?
It often gets overlooked or even misdiagnosed as a relapse to Senioritis. The two are actually quite similar. Ongoing research suggests that there may be a connection between onset of the two conditions, as those who exhibited mild cases of Seniorits in high school have a decreased immunity to Freshmanitis. Positive test signs include failing grades and a sense of apathy.
What treatments are available?
There is no known cure for Freshmanitis, except a healthy dose of summer before Sophomore year.
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