So, I experienced my first CPAC. CPAC was actually a little overwhelming. I didn’t expect so many people to be on campus. I also didn’t expect to be so cosplay-clueless. Like, I go to Stevens; I thought I would have a basic understanding of nerdy things just because I go here. Nope.
So, I’m not going to lie, I felt weird asking people to pose for photos when I had no clue what anyone was. So, I just smiled and said, “Thanks, and nice costume!” Okay, so I’m a pretty accepting person. I’m friendly and I keep an open mind. But it was weird just trying to get to Pierce by dodging around big weapons of various kinds and real life boss fights. Like I was just trying to get breakfast, not enter a real-life game of “Smash Bros.”
I felt kind of out of place. It was actually pretty funny that anyone in a CPAC staff shirt was really happy and busy helping the guests. It was an awesome and enjoyable day for them. Meanwhile, most other students just trying to walk across campus sported an unsatisfied pout or look of fear. I completely understand and respect those people for trying to leave the confinements of their dorm rooms during the all-day event.
The only panels that I attended were the “Kingdom Hearts” talk, and then the “Magic: The Gathering” draft. To be honest, I’m proud of myself for participating because, for a moment, I was going to ditch and head back to Davis. But I experienced some culture and broadened my horizons. I actually enjoyed the informal presentation/talk about the “KH” plot line and theories for the new release. Then, I joined some friends in the “MTG” room and walked out with some cards myself. I had a great time because I chose not to be judgmental like a large portion of the Stevens community. I mean, I guess I was a little weird before attending CPAC.
Actually, at least once a day somebody says to me, “You know you’re weird, right?” I mean, to be honest, no, I don’t think I’m that weird. I think that I just like to have a big personality sometimes and that comes across as different. Maybe because I was into musical theater since middle school, so maybe I miss performing and showing that side of me. That’s my really loud and energetic side. But it’s fun and natural for me to act that way so I don’t care. Still, sometimes I wish that I could be happy living a simple, normal life. Maybe what I mean is an average life. Get average grades, participate in a few ordinary clubs, hangout with generic friends. But I’m just not satisfied with mediocrity. I feel like this is what complicates my life because I’m always trying to be more.
Basically, I have this really competitive nature. Not only do I like competing with standards that other people set, but I just hold myself to high standards. I know that I can always work harder and think smarter, be wittier, and act friendlier. This is also why I have really strong opinions and voice them. I feel like I can also better the Stevens community, or at least get people thinking.
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