When it comes to love, I am, by and large, ashamed of my generation.
Ever since my generation learned how, hooking up has somehow found itself to be integrated into the ‘norm’ of our culture. Frankly, it is disgusting to me. There has been too much pleasure-seeking, and not enough soul-searching.
Our generation has, for the most part, lost sight of what love is, and why people come together, mostly because they focus far too much on the sexual aspect of a relationship. And, while I know I am just preaching to the choir here at Stevens (that was sarcasm) please allow me to address and rekindle a little bit of old-fashioned romance within you all.
First off, if you want to get into a relationship with someone – figure yourself out first! What do you want with yourself? You can’t rush into a relationship, it will fall apart. Be comfortable with yourself. Know your flaws, address your flaws, take pride in your triumphs, and be confident. You are both the best sides and the worst sides of your personality, but they are both uniquely you, so never discredit them.
Suppose you figure yourself out enough (enough, because no one will ever know themselves completely) now what? If you’re looking for love, you’re probably already doing it wrong. Never look for love. In time, it will come to you. And yes, these things just happen, especially when you’re not looking for them. Your best bet, if this special someone is a friend, just hang out with them. Admit to yourself that it might work or it might not work, and get over it. Let the pieces fall where they may. Whatever happens, you have to be a calm person and enjoy yourself, this is the recipe for success, in my opinion; be comfortable with yourself, and good things will happen.
Now let’s say you’re in a relationship, how do you keep it? First off, let me be straight with everyone right now, get your minds out of the damn gutter. Intimacy goes far beyond sexual relations, and don’t you dare tell me otherwise. Sure, it is relevant, but it is a minor component of a much grander machine. There are guys out there who think they have to be assertive and dominant; this is nonsense and I am not going to bother addressing it. In a partnership, and don’t think that I am just speaking about heterosexual couples here, the individuals must have a series of checks and balances that are decidedly equal. Remember this: in order to maintain peace in a relationship, an equal amount of wins and losses must occur.
Yes, sometimes, you will lose. Deal with it. If you truly love this person, you’ll realize that it is for the better, and besides, a win for her (in my case) is also a win for me, because when she is happy, so am I. Sometimes you’ll have to give up time and effort to be a good partner. Do you think I want to stop playing Minecraft to cuddle with my girlfriend when she’s had a bad day? Not at all. But that is what I do, because she needs a little us-time.
Nowadays, people don’t seem to care about the struggle of keeping it together. They’ll take their pleasures and leave. How deplorable and childish. If you are honestly looking for love, that is not the way to find it. And if you are just seeking pleasure, don’t complain about how miserable you are, because you’re doing nothing to sate the void in your heart by fooling around.
Don’t do anything stupid. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.
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