The final countdown

I used to be really happy to be at Stevens, but lately, I just can’t stand it. Now, I’m counting down the days until I can go home.

I actually got used to calling my dorm “home,” and now I take back every time I’ve said it. It’s a place to keep my belongings and there’s a bed for me, but my dorm room doesn’t feel like my home. To be honest, I don’t like hanging out there very much so I’m never really there. Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t use my room too much.

I’m lucky enough to have a great roommate. She’s not dirty, she’s not annoying, she never wakes me up, and she’s not a brat. There are no problems — except, I just can’t stand living with another person in my room. I like being alone, and especially when I wake up in the morning, I don’t want to see anybody else until I’ve had my coffee! So I get annoyed and I would just prefer to be living at home with my own personal space.

This last full week before Thanksgiving Break has been crazy, and has left me wanting to go home more than ever. I’ve had to push through and complete major projects while being hit with a second case of the Freshmen Flu. I really need a break to sleep and do nothing because this running abound has drained me. I’m doing a lot, and I’m tired of endless work, and I’m just glad the break is so soon.

The reason I’m feeling less than enthusiastic about Stevens is because I’m a little lost when it comes to what I want to get out of my time here. Mainly, I’m not sure if I’m here to be a biomedical engineer in four years or if I’m here preparing for medical school. These two are equally terrifying to me. I don’t feel like I want to spend my life in engineering. I don’t like designing things, and screws, and machines. But to go to medical school, I need to get the highest GPA possible, which will not happen if I stick with an engineering major. So, yes, I’m still having that major crisis.

Right now, all I am thinking about is getting in my E115 assignments before the break so I can go home to my room, my pets, my family, and my uncle’s homemade stuffing. Because I miss my family and I know that they will all give me good advice on how to deal with these problems and feeling homesick.