I was having lunch with my manager and this other guy in our department who came to meet me, the intern. He had many questions regarding my near future. He started out, as every adult does, with “Where are you going?” “Stevens,” I replied, hoping he will know the name without me having to explain more. Thankfully, he smiled and said “Great choice, I used to live in Hoboken ten, fifteen years ago. Congratulations!” Relieved, I thanked him, and our conversation went on. He talked about his son who also was starting college, and reminisced with my manager about their days in the 80’s. Towards the end of our meal, my manager assured me, “You’re going to have a great time, college is something you’ll look back to for your entire life.” I nodded and said “Yeah,” but there was no way for me to really understand what she meant then.
I am nervous for move-in day, but at the same time not really. I did the summer program last year, so I know I like being on campus and in Hoboken. I have talked with my roommate, coordinated who will bring what, and I’m looking forward to meeting her. I haven’t shopped much yet, but I’ve done a lot of research. I am kind of paranoid about the vague comment everyone seems to give me, “What you do in college, you will remember for the rest of your life,” but it’s perhaps better to not over think its implications and simply do the things I want to, because I have a chance to start fresh. I can shop at stores I’ve never set foot in and change my style or try being vegetarian. Or even try writing a column, despite disliking writing, because people don’t know that. People won’t know me since kindergarten, they won’t know my family or my friends. They will only know what kind of person I am starting from the day we meet.
The first impression people will have of me – will it be much different from the one people have always had? Not if I don’t give people a reason to think differently. I want to become more responsible, more independent. I want to become a better version of myself, while not really knowing what “myself” is limited to. I don’t identify as a partier, but who knows? I do identify as a morning person, something that I hope won’t change.
Summer break is nearly over, but it doesn’t feel like it. I go to work every day, exercise, browse the internet, water my plants, eat dinner, go to sleep, and wake up in the morning to do the same thing all over again. My friends are still in town, and we hang out no differently. I guess because I’m going to school 30 minutes away I don’t feel like I’m leaving. I’m looking forward to the next few months, transitioning into a new stage of life. After four years of crafting a resume, I know what I really enjoyed and what I did just for my college application. With that pressure removed, I want to try a lot of things that I previously thought “wouldn’t suit me” or conflicted with things that I already had going on. Even if some activities, or other people even, are only remotely interesting now, I want to see if after four years they will become meaningful like everyone has been telling me.
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