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Prospective inner city residents arrive at their incongruent home, Off-Center sketch. (Credit: LiAna Curry-De Salas)

Off-Center presents the “Annual Leap Day Show”

Off Center Leap Day
Prospective inner city residents arrive at their incongruent home, Off-Center sketch. (Credit: LiAna Curry-De Salas)

While many students headed home, Off-Center held their “Annual Leap Day Show” on both Friday, February 28, and Saturday, March 1. On Saturday, Leprecon – the big drinking event in Hoboken which has replaced Saint Patrick Day’s Parade – occurred; this caused some in the audience to fear rowdiness from attendees of the event coming to Off-Center. Luckily Off-Center was more rowdy than any drunken observers of the show. An “Ask the Expert” question concerned the side of the crowd which would be more boisterous.

After the usual “Ask the Expert” festivities, the show began with a show within a show in which new member Kenny Goff delivered his first performance. He made quite half-hearted, cliché jokes while reading from a paper. He was obviously nervous; Goff paced frantically and his voice reduced in volume and coherency. Just as Goff was reduced to uttering meaningless phrases, Frank DiCola rescued the audience by announcing the start of the (implied) real Off-Center show. It turned out that Off-Center, Redshift, The Clubbing Seals Club, and at least 2 other clubs had registered the same room at the same time. Blame was placed squarely on the Registrar. After the situation was sorted out, Goff asked to join Off-Center. He gave this ringing endorsement of himself, “I don’t have experience, am not good on stage, and am not funny.” DiCola did not seem concerned about it jokingly saying “you’ll fit right in, let’s go!”
Another notable skit was one commenting on the panic over the impending six to twelve inch snowfall.

As the professor lectured, he received a notification on his cell phone that “all classes (that day) were cancelled until 11:00 p.m.”. One student received a notification that students would not have classes for the rest of the week. Cancellations progressed to the point in which students received their degrees due to escalating alarming weather conditions. All students were also hired and would make $100,000.00 a year.

Problem was that they wouldn’t survive long enough to enjoy their newfound wealth because the sun was not in the solar system anymore. In the words of the notification, “President Farvardin is sending our best scientists to look for it.” The solar system’s death would occur in the next two hours. While everyone began to wail with grief, one more notification came in saying “students can now use the other doors to enter Howe”.

Off-Center also created a skit riffing on Thanksgiving traditions. The illusion of a happy four member family broke and erupted after the obligatory “what are you thankful for?” to which the son responded “I don’t have anything I’m grateful for… I hate this family”. The father figure asked the entire family what they didn’t like about each other. The daughter, who had no complaints about her family, revealed that she was pregnant. Her mother, a housewife, revealed that she had been cheating on her husband with someone else. The son who was seen as ruining Thanksgiving dinner was the only person who lived with his father was left alone to eat all Thanksgiving food.

Other important skits are summarized. An inspired author creates a story in which “Plot” is a horse driven by Characters with different Personalities. In another skit, many interview candidates are attempting to gain employment at a dead-end job and discover that even their interviewer is still in the process of interviewing. Yet another skit goes on the premise that a city with a reputation for being highly dangerous (either Paterson or Camden) is actually a good town. The numerous deaths are actually caused by realtors and property vendors murdering those threatening to reveal the conspiracy. The perceived crime levels are artificially created to keep down housing prices and maintain the community’s gated status.
Hart Welles was the musical guest at this event, performing “Candy Man” while Off-Center distributed tons of candy to the audience.

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