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Why romantic love is overrated

Valentine’s Day is upon us. As a select number of extremely vocal singles post on their Facebook walls their hatred of the holiday for reasons ranging from its extremely commercialized nature to the in-your-face public displays of affection by all our proudly non-single friends. Even though I am one of those insufferably non-single people, I can see the downsides of love as well.

To reduce the complexity of this labyrinthine subject, not included are those who have unrequited love for someone. The rationale behind this is that as someone when has unreturned feelings for someone, depending on the timespan, said feelings could range from extreme preference to infatuation to love.

One of the most commonly cited arguments for the viability of love is its spontaneity as well as the randomness of its outcome. The issue with the spontaneity with an emotion as volatile as love is that the question of the person’s compatibility with you is always in question – even through marriage.

The divorce as well as substantially larger breakup rate demonstrate this point admirably. A commonly cited reason for divorce as well as breakups is irreconcilable differences. One partner changes or both realize that they’ve reached a point in their relationship in which the relationship cannot progress.

For one or both partners come the tears, heartbreak, and journey to gather the strength to look for another potential romantic partner again. Knowing that you may have to go through heartbreak more than once is a daunting prospect!

Keeping in mind that the romance you’re currently involved in may not last, many people still want to spend all their time with their loved one to the detriment of continuing relationships ditch their friends and family upon meeting a potential requited romantic partner.

As someone who has lost a few friends to “the new/first boyfriend craze”, I’ve seen cases in which the girl simply isolates herself and doesn’t speak to absolutely anyone but the guy.

It puts a barrier between them and their existing friends and families because they let someone, however close, supersede them in terms of time and importance to such a gross extent. When the breakup happens – as it most likely will – one or both romantic partners must rebuild these foundational connections.

Did I mention that heartbreak is seriously awful? The physical sensation of heartbreak feels as though someone pierced a huge hole where your most important four-chamber organ is.

You feel extremely disillusioned, stupid, and like you wasted way too much of your time on that person you though was the one. Finding ways to cope with it with minimal bitterness toward both romance and your former partner is nontrivial!

Hopefully, this short piece has saved you the trouble of investing in that tricky goal known as “finding the one”. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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